The entire trip was a waste!At least that is what I thought on my way out of the Conference Center of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My family and I had driven up from Phoenix to attend two of the five sessions of Conference that weekend together but missed the opportunity. We had to split up due to time issues and food issues. We drove for 16 hours just to miss viewing conference together. We could have done that at home! The only good thing I could see coming out of this trip was I would get to see Russ, the man who baptized me and introduce him to my family.
True, true. I did not notice my phone had rung since I turned the volume off for the meeting. I would not have answered it anyway because I was still crying at Xavier letting me leave the Crown Burgers alone for the meeting—yes, immature MUCH I KNOW! I Thank GOD people could not read my thoughts!
Odd that I should say that since I was going through hell trying to feel adequate as a father and husband now that I was on disability. Life would have been unlivable without the gospel in mine, though. Going to Utah to see Russ gave a boost of confidence. I could tell the man cared for me.
Melinda loves that man! It was hard not to compare the love in his family to the love in my family. I wondered if I deserved the love of my wife because she looks at me the same way Melinda looks at Russ. I am nowhere near as great as that guy, I thought. I could not even work a job at that time without passing out! I got over it. Russ is sort of contagious with self-confidence. If he was being fake, he is such a good actor!
Melinda, Ivy, Mosiah, Ephraim, Naomi, and Sariah all took turns using me as a target. I did enjoy it eventually. When I realized that I could maneuver a bit without falling, I started to toss snowballs back. Sariah, my second oldest girl, began to throw huge boulder-sized chunks of snow from the mini-mountain they had climbed at me; so, I decided to walk away before I was killed.
I knew that I would not be able to get up without help. I did it. I walked toward the road with triumph in my heart, braggartly preparing to admit to Xavier that I made it without tumbling. As I triumphantly took my last step to the road, my left leg disappeared into dirty gray snow, and I landed on my keister.
I laughed, but no one else did. I could not get up at all! I didn’t want Russ to see me. I hoped that Xavier was close by to help since I ventured out without a walker or a cane, but he was nowhere close. I flopped around in the snow for a minute in shame until a good Samaritan ran to my aid picking me up to my embarrassment. I should say he more snatched me off the ground than picked me up, but it was embarrassing either way because he had to hold me up. I did not want to be a burden on those around me—an invalid.